But will it really work?
I hear that a lot. And “pixie dust” aside, it does REALLY work!
Look at it this way – you already ARE that person and you have watched yourself BE that person or character in different circumstances. All you have to do now is to recognize and be able to call upon that character whenever you need to.
It’s easy to gloss over this step and after a few entries to give up and tell yourself that that’s all the roles you are. But I can tell you that this step is the foundation to your communication success.
Sometimes it helps to “reverse engineer” it! Think of situations when you were a certain way and then back track to what role you were in. Thinking of words that express how you felt at a certain time can help you to define a role.
As you keep a list throughout the day and jot them down, perhaps think of all the classifications that your roles are in. There’s family, business and social. You are a citizen, a friend, a member of the community and any others you can think of. By looking at yourself this way, you may find it easier to get more roles noted.
You may also find that some roles have an underlying connection where some characteristics crossover or one role is an extension or an intensification of another role. It will help to note these connections so as you start working on improving your communication skills these factors will be very helpful.
And above all, take your time with it! That reminds me of that old saying: “How do you eat an elephant?” And the answer of course is: “One bite at a time.” So, work at a pace that makes sense for you. Keep track of your roles or identities over the course of time. For some, that might be a week or two weeks or a month and remember, you can always add to the list later.
And if you find some pixie dust! Go for it!
To Being Heard,